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From "Break It Now!"...

     One of the things that impedes the process of breaking the cycle of addiction is the system of strategies we create to accommodate our struggle. These typically come in the form of mask-wearing, isolation and the keeping of secrets from others which usually include lies, deception and manipulation. These are all strategies for hiding behaviors and they, like our bad habits, negative patterns and addictions, occur across a spectrum of seriousness and intensity. I became a master at ALL of these methods when I was in the grips of my own addictions. Let me explain.

     A mask is a covering for all or part of the face, worn as a disguise. When worn effectively, a mask hides the true self and leads others to believe that you are in fact someone other than who you really are. Everyone wears a mask in some form or another and for different reasons. For me, I wore a social, spiritual and emotional mask to hide my secret life. I wore a mask because I wanted to be accepted by my friends, my wife, my children, my co-workers, etc.

     Most people struggling to break a negative pattern, bad habit or addiction wear a mask in one form or another because they are ashamed to let people see them for who they truly are or to let others know what’s really going on. People mostly wear masks because of shame. Best-selling author and shame researcher Brene’ Brown defines shame as “the fear of disconnection.”